A fathers Experience On Shared Parenting

As one of the few custodial fathers in this nation I have to say that child abuse by the mother, and for that fact also the father of the children, does not end when you are finally living in separate households. What remains is what is supposed to be shared parenting that not always works and should have never been in place in the first place.


To try and make this past history short I will start out by telling that I have had custody for 6 years now. Prior to this for most of the time I was working many hours a week with tons of overtime and many times out of town. During these times of having to be away from home the mother of my children was abusing both my son and daughter and them minimizing what was happening concerning discipline when I was away. She went so far as to tell me my daughter lied about anything and my son was her angel. Not so according to a journal I found of hers. In this she detailed what, how, and when she abused these kids in so many ways. From pinning a child on the ground and punching, pulling hair, and then kicking the child as they tried to get up, to spitting in their faces, cursing them in front of their friends, and having them spy on neighbors. You should get the picture here. It did get a lot worse.

I also had incidents of her abusing me physically, emotionally, and financially. And when I said for her to get a job she would accuse me of being abusive among other irrational accusations. I then one day told her that she is to hard to love and if she were to stay any longer that she would have to go to counseling for everything she was doing, stop abusing the kids, and get a job. She immediately replied she was moving out and did so a day later.

Before any court order she was allowed to visit with the kids and take them to her new place. I then would get phone calls of her complaining our daughter was not going into the pool or associate outside of her new apartment. She then ordered me to tell out daughter to get out and have a good time. How crazy is this? And at that time she wanted the kids every weekend and no weekdays because she didn't want to get up and take them to school. I told her "hell no." Her attitude on this remained after we went to court and the lawyers seen fit for this shared parenting plan that had the children here every other weekend and back and forth during the week. Now that is crazy also. But before you knew it the mother had a new social life and was hardly even calling by phone much less wanting visitation. Plus, in between then and now, she has 2 more children that she can't no way afford, and negates paying child support on the 2 she abandoned here.

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