Family Law Experts have understated the impact that the shared parenting laws have on children and their mothers. Howard's Shared Parenting Bill, further undermined victims of domestic violence and child abuse that already lacked many protections for them. With the Family laws psychological community following the american trends of a pro pedophile philosophy movement headed by Dr Richard Gardner, children were handed on a platter to the abusive parent if the parent became protective during the proceedings. This movement immigrated to Australia in the 1980s promoting the idea that every parent(mostly the mother) who raised concerns about child abuse or violence against them were mentally ill and the best way to treat them was to reverse the custody to the alleged abuser. Over the past twenty nine years, the practice of punishing children for speaking out against abuse has become a widely accepted practice. Because of Dr Richard Gardner has been exposed by family violence advocates for making statements that support pedophilia, professionals have been using the work of his followers that have made modest promotion of Parent Alienation as a syndrome. What has been quite disturbing is the international trends in Family Courts that reflect his original suggestions in resolving the pseudo syndrome. Richard Gardner is starred on pedophile rights sites who support his work and his syndrome. It may be quite a shock for many who do not work in the area to know how many professionals are involved in attempting to overturn laws that protect our children.
The Shared Parenting Bill exacerbated an ongoing crisis for intimate partner violence and child abuse victims to an intolerable position. Before shared parenting, some had hope in being able to present evidence to the court on child abuse and family violence. Some victims were able to place their children on protection orders and fewer services had incentive to support abusers. Post shared Parenting campaigns, there are more services claiming to be for fathers but offer assistance in undoing the few protections made available for victims such as intervention orders that don't leave a criminal record. Regardless of how violent he has been in the past, the court is concerned about "looking forward to the future" and accepts any course relating to parenting as a guarantee of safety. The constant exposure to ongoing psychological trauma for both the parent and the child is deplorable enough. As a result of the clause, "reasonable" when describing the definition of intimate partner terrorism, every victim has been mentally assessed and what has been found is used against them. The laws also exclude outside professionals that might have been working with the children or the parent and contempt is held against the parent who seeks them out. The review of allegations in the family court revealed that regardless of the level of evidence provided, children had some unsupervised contact with the alleged perpetrator. Shared Parenting is so far away from where these families are at and to simply enforced this kind of regime on parents is cruel to say the least. None of the successful shared parenting couples that are trophied on websites were forced by law to reach such an amicable separation. For those who are so determined to impose this on separated couples and achieved some sense of bible satisfaction on the damage it has done on the divorce community, are the ones that need to let go and better reserve such improvements upon themselves.
Part of the damage that has already been done is from those who perhaps believe that they can solve violence against women with coercive control tactics are a danger to the community and possibly to themselves. The sentiments with "sharing" needs to be also applied with more thought and insight that we are indeed sharing a legal structure with others that we cannot possibly know what they endure behind those closed doors. "Sharing" is also about respecting others needs and understanding that it is not one particular group that owns a space but merely a particle of a whirlwind of many different people from all walks of life. From most family court professionals, it is not the ignorance itself that harms the children and parents, but the lack of intent to prevent harm that causes most of the damage.
For couples who are not experiencing violence/abuse but high conflict need time out to reflect and heal. The current laws encourage a rush when people are not ready. It does not hurt children to spend time with one parent in the mean time as children have a new opportunity to know one of their parents without the conflict and diversion of attention onto the other parent. All of a sudden, that parent is able to be more child focused and spend more time with them than during the relationship. The other parent has time out to build upon themselves and return into the child's life with more energy than they might have had during the relationship.
In relationships where intimate partner terrorism exists, the only way that the terrorizer can reform is through choice and choice only. They must start the difficult journey of learning to let go of control and divert that control towards themselves. They can't do this whilst being exposed to circumstances where they are able to continue their reign. Its like putting a pedophile next to a kindergarten. The few who have managed to genuinely reform from intimate partner terrorism have taken years to overcome such behaviors and groups that reinforce and assist them in furthering their means for control is like giving a packet of cigarettes to a reformed smoker and saying, "Its ok now, It doesn't cause lung cancer". In the sense of the Shared Parenting Bill, its campaigners and those who have exploited its provisions has opened the floodgates to perpetuating more violence than ever before. I just hope that the children and women have been able to find some sort of comfort in this dark time. Lets hope that those in charge have a bit more compassion and drive for understanding for what has taken place here and what truly needs change.
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